meg

11:06 pm: My heart feels good for the first time in a long time... random but true. I don't think I could be anymore content with my relationships... friendships and others included. I feel like everything is finally almost maybe getting under some kind of control. It feels good. I'm happy. I'm truely happy. I love my life, I love my friends, I love my relationship(s).

01:07 am: Life has become ridiculous. I work, I fight, I cry, I sleep, and I eat on occasion. This is my life, slipping through my fingers, like sand, only I can't seem to hold any of it in. I can say that I'm not happy, but then that's my own fault isn't it? I can't see myself any other way... sad, disappointed, crying myself to sleep, lonely. Everything seems to be black and gray... There doesn't seem to be anything bright in it. Was I ever truly happy? I don't know. All I know is that now, I don't know what to do. I'm leaning towards leaving.... honest. Leaving for good. But the thing is that I'm already lonely, minus one more person, and I would begin to question what comes after lonely. And it's my own damn fault that I am the way that I am. Fuckin A.

10:28 pm: I need serious therapy... I don't know what to do.

05:08 pm: Guess what guess what guess what!!!!! I got fired! Right when I move into a new place... if I don't find something soon, I'm so fucked! lol.

02:23 pm: She can't take it from me now. She can't. I feel the last little bit of power that she had over me slip away.

08:21 am: This song fits someone I know very well.

This is one song that is my inspiration to get out of bed and make something of my life. It's how I found out who I am, if only because of the experiences that took place from having listened to this.

10:51 pm: Allergies suck ass!

10:26 am: I think I dropped my phone at the guys' house last night. Not inside either. I need to go see if it's lying in the street...  

10:15 am: Rumors Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated Lyrics


Please don't ask me how
I ended up at my wits end and breaking down
pages torn from books we never read
because we're plugged into this grid
don't pull this plug right now or then we'd really have to live

when i die will they remember not what i did but what i haven't done?
it's not the end that i fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death

when we build these dreams on sand
how they all slip through our hands
this might be our only chance

let's take this one day at a time
i'll hold your hand if you hold mine
the time that we kill keeps us alive

your words won't save me now
i'm at the edge feeling the sweat drip from my brow
get a grip on yourself is what they say
every hour every day
hands over my ears, i've been screaming all these years

when i die will they remember not what i did but what i haven't done?
it's not the end that i fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death

when we build these dreams on sand
how they all slip through our hands
this might be our only chance

let's take this one day at a time
i'll hold your hand if you hold mine
the time that we kill keeps us alive

we came in search of answers
we left empty handed again
shots fired into the sky are now returning
where the fuck will you hide?

hiding from the laughter in the closet of our lives
but the door hinges are squeaking letting in thin shards of light
and now a hand's extending outward, quiet comfort they invite
do we dare take what they offer, do we step into the light?

when i die will they remember not what i did but what i haven't done?
it's not the end i fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death

when we build these dreams on sand
how they all slip through our hands
this might be our only chance

let's take this one day at a time
i'll hold your hand if you hold mine
the time that we kill keeps us alive